Sometimes it's a mind clarifier to point out the inaccuracies in your own life - that blend of irony and confusion that makes up your unique mindset. Bottom line: I'm all sorts of confused. You probably are too. Let's talk amongst ourselves...
Life Polarized
Looking cool at the airport
In the later years of my elementary school era, sitting alone on a plane was a liberating and thrilling experience. I stared at clouds and layered skies thinking, "What on earth would I do if my parents weren't here? What would be my first move after grabbing baggage and heading out of the terminal?"
I remember these thoughts so vividly I relive them every time I'm in a plane - even if I actually am traveling alone and have to fend for myself upon arrival. I like to keep those feelings of challenge raw to preserve the experience as something fantastic, never ordinary. For this reason, I rationalize I was meant to move.
But the reality of my mentality is that I'm from a small town - not just a product of it but a victim to the desire to be more sedentary and settled.
The anchors of home
Recently, I had lunch with Gary Arndt (probably the most widely read independent travel blogger on the web today), who mentioned I needed to drop my personal stuff and feel free to travel, as I know I want to. But just as much as I love to move, I also appreciate being a part of a long-standing community, whether built by family or old friendships, where my presence can make or throw off the balance of the relationships. I think it's just as senseless to fear travel as it is to ignore all the reasons why you're bound to a location, if that is the case.
As I've stated before, Indiana isn't a hub of tourism, and I understand why people aren't pulled here from far and wide. Comparatively, Indiana seems like a black hole - a fly-over city - and when I'm planning trips anywhere, I usually don't go for the place that has "nothing to offer." But I do come here. I live here. And I get offended when outsiders comment negatively about Indiana.
Why do I care about this state so much when my love for movement has led me to love everything Indiana is not?
It's the polarizing effect. The longing to be home working against the desire for more. To want to be where I'm not - constantly. It's a fantastic recipe for unhappiness, but I'm not unhappy. Huh...
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